A Rant, Directed At The Old Me
Posted by John on May 23, 2008
Listen. Yes, you have depression, and yes, depression is a disease. But, calling depression a disease does not absolve the afflicted of the responsibility to correct it. It doesn’t mean that you deserve pity, or that it’s something that you just can’t help. Just because it’s a disease does not mean it’s not a fucking character flaw.
I’m sure as hell not trying to place blame on you for being depressed. I’m not trying to say that its effects are not real, or that you’re a Bad Person because you’re depressed. But it is imaginary, and it is all in your head. It is the result of flawed, irrational, false thoughts, and it must be corrected, by YOU, if you ever actually want to be happy.
No one else can fix this for you. Your brain is not a car engine, which experts may disassemble and mend and reassemble. You cannot order a new one from a catalog. You cannot send it back because there is no warranty. Your brain and mind are stuck inside your head, and so the buck stops there. Maybe others can offer some guidance and advice, but the hard work is yours alone. By the very nature of this disease, the depressed must fix themselves. Others can help, but salvation ultimately lies within.
Listen. I love you; that is to say, I love me, now and ago and to come. But do you love you? Will you end up where I am?
